Hey, Dad. Father.
Get over to the side?
I got to get to work.
Bastard!
I need an advance on next month, Dad.
-You spent your paycheck? -Naturally.
-Thanks, Dad. -Yeah.
-Bye, Mom. -Bye, dear.
What's so funny?
Come on.
-Thanks, Dad. -Okay.
Champion Gerrit Witkamp and his wife leave his mansion...
...grabs his Japanese bike and blah, blah, blah.
-Guys, does it sound all right? -Perfect. Couldn't be better.
Okay, then let's get started.
As soon as he comes outside, act it up a little, will you?
-Okay. All right. We'll do it. -Four, three, two, one.
Come on.
Here he comes now. Gerrit Witkamp, our National Motocross champion...
...and his lovely wife are leaving their mansion in the suburbs.
Camera 2, come in.
-Good morning, Gerrit. Hello, Hilde. -Hi.
They tell me you're a dentist.
Is it true, or did you start that rumor?
It's the truth. Graduated in Utrecht.
You haven't been practicing lately.
You never lose the knack.
-Want a demonstration? -Yeah, great idea.
A demonstration by a dentist who's almost World Motocross Champion. Who's game?
-Eef's got a graveyard in there. -My teeth suit me fine.
Open your mouth.
Open it!
You ought to treat those molars.
Drop in one day. I won't charge you.
Now, viewers, I'd like to introduce you to a few of Gerrit's fans.
First, we have here.... What's your name?
Eef Dewitt, car mechanic, 19.
-And you? -Rien, 20, carpenter.
-Right. And you? -My name is Hans.
Twenty, also a carpenter.
And now, guys, what do we say all together? Gerrit Witkamp, world champion!
Witkamp!
What do you think of this enthusiasm from your fans?
Fantastic. Guess I'll really have to try and win tomorrow.
You heard it here first. Gerrit'll be the new champion.
One last question. What makes a person into a champion?
Gerrit has fantastic equipment, all from Japan. The best of the best.
It's not the equipment that counts, it's the guy.
It's the person that matters in sports.
Right. I ride old junk, but I'll win tomorrow morning.
-Do you race, too? -Yeah, amateur.
-That'll change soon. -He's won a few races already.
You hear? You're going to have competition. You know that boy?
Sure do. Rien Hartman.
Has he got talent?
-Rien? -Yeah.
He's got plenty of talent. Real star quality.
And me, Gerrit? I ride, too.
I want to ask you something.
Do you think champions help the growth of sports?
Sure, because without champions, there's no show, no drama.
Like in the movies. You pay your money to see the star.
Thanks a lot for the interview. I'll see you.
Hey, guys, let's get out of here!
Hi, my dear.
Hey. Where have you been?
I still need to fix my bike. I need a drop cloth.
Behind you.
Oh, yeah.
Will I see you again tonight?
Sure, my parents went camping.
So the place is all yours.
-I'm going to pay. -Okay, I'll come right away.
Is that it?
Oh, and some candies.
Okay. That's 24.50 guilders.
You can keep those 2 quarters, my dear.
Oh, that's nice of you.
You're so smart!
-I caught you! -Oh, shut up, I brought them from home.
With our prices on them?
Yes.
I'll pay for them.
Thank you.
You'd better watch out, you know.
My balls hurt.
Okay, catch this!
This comes from my old man's place. This comes from Maya's. She never notices anything.
And here is Blondie from the album Parallel Lines.
Here is One Way or Another.
-Hi. -Hello.
I wanted to put gas in the scooter.
Shall I put it in here?
-Fill it up? -That's what I came here for, yes.
Can I help you with something else?
I'd like a coupon.
Oh, a coupon.
A coupon.
Hey, guys. Watch this.
Hello.
Here you go.
Son of a bitch!
She's flat as a board.
I think mine are bigger.
Next time, bring you big sister with you!
You bastards!
Girls....
Thanks.
Next.
Hey, that one's gross. There still some dirt on it.
-It doesn't matter, just a bit of dirt. -Yeah, but Gerrit doesn't know.
He has a mechanic, you know.
Some dirty Jap.
But he can fix a bike with his eyes closed.
-Yeah, well, I can do that as well. -Yeah, right!
-You wanna bet? -Okay.
25 guilders.
Okay.
You can start now.
Nut.
Bolt.
Cover.
''Nice, cool, Heineken!''
25 guilders.
Hey, Rien.
-What's up? -Nice piece of ass.
Who, that black bitch?
They say they're the greatest, right?
-What? -Never mind.
Do you want to dance?
With you, honey? I've got better things to do.
What a shit!
Hi.
-Would you like a drink? -Yeah.
-Chocolate milk? -A beer.
Rien! I bet she's going to be easy!
-That girl's totally hooked on sex. -Me, too.
He's making his move now.
-Lovely soft skin. -Please don't.
-Why not? -I really don't enjoy it.
You will.
Hey, Eef.
Jesus!
And now the disco dancing contest of the evening.
Five absolutely brand new LPs for him or her...
...or the couple with the hottest footwork.
Now you know how to cut the mustard, Hans.
Nice finger-work, Hans.
Did you get a nice feel?
-Here, have a whiff. -Nice and juicy.
Go on out there and dance. Do your stuff.
-Go on. -No. Cut it out.
Win yourself some LPs.
Disco!
Beautiful.
And now, guys and dolls, here's another John Travolta.
Fantastic!
And now here's his competitor, the Black Pearl...
...and there's no way you'll beat him tonight, Eef boy.
The Black Pearl is tonight's...
...King of the Disco, a five-record winner.
Here is lggy Pop.
-Get a move on. -Cool it, will you?
Or I'll knock your block off.
Eef, why don't you join them?
Jesus saves!
Come on.
Like a chainsaw.
Let's go.
Showtime!
Like watermelons.
No! Stupid jerk.
-Fucking fags! -Queers just make me sick.
-Fucking pansies! -Right into his balls!
-Do it! -Motherfuckers!
-I guess the little boys are happy with this? -Let's have some fun.
Come on, give it gas!
Are you guys crazy?
-Catch them. -Okay, I'll do it!
Are you scared?
Lipstick. Come on, lipstick.
Here. Here.
We'll put make-up on you.
A blowjob mouth.
We recognize you better like this. Dirty faggot.
I tied his shoelaces together.
I really wanted to fuck him.
Okay, guys, the end of the line. All out.
-What's the rush? The night's young yet. -Already?
Okay, what's the scoop?
There's nobody home tonight. My folks are out of town. See you.
Lucky bum.
That's really great organization.
I wish my folks were out of town, but they never leave home.
Listen, couldn't we come in, too?
Where would you do it? On the bar, I guess.
Forget it. See you tomorrow.
Those jerks. They wanted to come in, too.
I'm sorry for them. They have nowhere to go.
-They have plenty of fields out there. -A bit itchy for me.
-Shall we lie down? -Upstairs?
Come on.
No! Not in my room! My parents' bed. lt's bigger.
Watch out for the bedspread!
Move, will you?
What's that? Read it to me.
''Dear Rien. Don't keep Maya out too late tonight.
''Otherwise her mother will worry. Father.''
What a real sweetie your father is.
He's the best. A great guy.
Goodbye, girls.
-Look how high we are. -Not so high, please.
-See you around, angel! -Stop!
You'll be all right.
-Get us down. Don't be stupid. -Stop!
Go into the building there.
-Where? -Behind you. See you inside.
Be careful. It's spooky!
Through there, that window.
Give me a push.
Come on.
Give me a hand. Come on.
-How do you like our new love nest? -Real cozy.
What are you staring at?
Go find your own spot.
Come on. We'll go around this corner.
Boy, I think I've had too much to drink.
It doesn't matter.
Hey, wait.
What is it?
I just got my period.
Jesus. You could have told me sooner.
It started a minute ago.
That's nice.
It just won't go in.
It's as limp as a noodle.
Shit.
My arm is getting tired.
It's like a snail.
I must have drank too much.
I'm sorry.
But if Annette hears that we didn't do it tonight, I'll look real silly.
She doesn't have to know, does she? Just act as if.
What am I supposed to do?
Start panting, just like in the movies.
-Really? -Yeah.
-Like this? -Yeah.
Harder.
Yeah.
More!
-Eef? -Yeah?
-Finished? -Yeah. I just have to clean myself up.
Come on, let's go.
Wasn't bad, huh?
She really needed it, I tell you.
Come on. Hey, that was great!
Wait for me, Eef.
-You finally made it. -Hi.
Hi.
Hold it. I'm going with Eef.
-Let me go today. -No, you always ride with Hans.
-On that rotten bike? lt's always breaking down. -So what?
Yeah? It started fine this morning.
Okay, let's get going.
Yeah.
Damn it! Bastard! You said it was okay!
You fixed it, didn't you?
Cool it. Could happen to anybody.
Will all the 125cc riders take their places?
-All riders to the starting line. -They're starting!
What are you standing around for? Jerk!
Will you buzz off?
-Okay. -It's conked out.
-What? -Be careful, Rien.
It won't start.
I want to win. I'll go ahead.
Yeah, what about me?
You bastard!
You're supposed to be a great mechanic. Fix it!
Will you shut up? Stop bugging me!
Know what your problem is? The booze makes your hands shake.
Is that right? You can shove it. Fix it yourself!
Bastard!
Move it!
Move!
Come on, out of the way!
Ladies and gentlemen, we are now ready for the 125cc race.
This is for the up-and-coming young riders.
They're coming up to the starting gate.
We have a terrific lineup here today.
The favorites are number 12, that's Peter Hamilton...
...number 8 is Rien Hartman.
They're very focused, ladies and gentlemen, because it's a very important race.
We have a late entry. Joining the field...
...number 21, Hans Black.
Hurry up, fella, the race isn't going to wait for you.
All right now, ladies and gentlemen, the great moment has come.
Attention!
And in front of the pack is number 8...
...and number 8 is Rien Hartman!
A great start, Rien.
They're coming around the first turn, and number 8 is still leading.
Rien Hartman. Good work, Rien.
Keep it up, Rien! You're fantastic!
You'll win!
Give us a hand, will you?
Rien Hartman has fallen back.
Hamilton and Siehof, two more great riders, are fighting it out for first place.
This is the final lap. There's no doubt about the winner.
Into the straightaway and at the finish line...
...it's number 8, Rien Hartman.
Hartman is the winner! You ran a terrific race!
What a comeback, Rien! Congratulations.
Come on.
Rien, you were wonderful!
Rien was really terrific!
You sure were great!
You weren't too bad, either.
That lousy engine of mine conked out.
-Let's get something to eat. -Here's your trophy.
Yeah, you earned it.
Guys, there's Gerrit Witkamp.
-Hi, Gerrit. -Rien?
-Congratulations. -Thanks.
Say, you're not getting too good, are you?
Better watch out.
Hey, the other one, too.
It's cold.
I'll warm it up.
-Anything else? -Yes, could you lie down?
Then I'll give you a croquette. A very hot one.
Shall I put it in the oil?
Yeah, nice. Work it.
I repeat that Rien Hartman, number 8, has become the champion.
Japanese sponsors, keep your eyes on the guy in white.
Number 8, Rien Hartman.
-Here's your croquette. Hot. -Thanks.
Nice trophy. Are you the guy that just won?
No, actually I got this in a box of Cracker Jacks.
Champions can eat here for nothing.
No, thanks. We feel like paying.
Mind your business, honey.
This is my business, honey. French fries and coleslaw.
I'll have a croquette.
Coleslaw.
And you?
The same here.
Give me a bull's cock and a pair of horse's balls.
Funny. A real fucking joker.
A real fuckin' joker.
Hey, pay!
Lass, we didn't have anything.
We don't eat shit like that.
You guys knock it off. Just pay and go.
Fucking shitheads, pay up or I'll....
You better cool down, or else we'll settle this thing our way!
Grab him. The bastard.
Grab him!
Stay right there or I'll pour it all over the bastard!
Okay, now pay what you owe us, damn it.
Pay up! I won't let bums like you steal from me like that.
Cough up.
Come on.
You, too. Pay up, you pig!
There you are.
-And now... -Thanks a lot.
...the reason we've all come here this afternoon...
...Gerrit Witkamp. Our own Gerrit Witkamp, who is the greatest rider in the country.
-Witkamp's riding! -Come on to the starting line.
I'll get you one day! Motherfucker.
That girl sure has guts. She got back every damn penny.
That slut? She's just as rotten as her French fries.
-Jealous? -No reason to be, right, Rien?
Come on, guys.
Ladies and gentlemen, we are now approaching the start of the 500cc race...
...with our own Gerrit Witkamp.
It's a very important race...
...for if Witkamp wins, he'll be first in line for the championship.
And there they go, ladies and gentlemen.
Gerrit has immediately taken the lead and is slightly ahead of the pack.
And at the first turn...
...the champ is way out in front.
It's a fantastic race.
The points from this race put Witkamp at the top of the list...
...for the world championship...
...in front of De Havert, in front of Strauss.
With just one Grand Prix to ride...
...we can be sure that he'll be the next world champion...
...our own Gerrit Witkamp.
Hi, son.
The Cup!
Look! The new Witkamp.
The next round's on the house.
And you?
-I fell. -He fell.
Give us a hand here.
Next time, when I have a new engine, you just wait and see.
You'll fall again.
Ladies and gentlemen, time to rehearse.
Beer?
Thanks.
We'll take one sip and then we'll start. Rien, to your victory.
Cheers! Cheers, everyone.
Cheers.
-I gotta go or I'll be locked out of the house. -See you.
Ciao.
Are you off? He's always got to be in the house on time.
The spineless prick.
He sure is limp.
-What do you mean? -Trudi! Come on.
-I'll tell you about it later. -Yeah.
How about doing some work around here?
You do it. I'll look around.
Elsie!
You've dishonored the Lord's day again.
That was your horn this morning in front of the church.
I just wanted to say hello to you.
A joke.
Come on.
Come on!
Your turn.
Get up!
Had enough?
Turn the light off.
You can't park here.
No? Why not?
Not without a permit.
What's the trouble?
Ask this damn cop. We don't have a permit so we have to take off.
But we've got a permit. lt's in my drawer.
My brother forgets things.
But please come in, Sergeant...
...I'll show it to you over a nice cup of coffee, okay?
MS-8 reporting. All clear here.
Well.
-That was fast work. -Yeah.
Good job.
He'll be back for more sometime.
You spoil them too much.
You don't think I like it, do you?
Come on, it's not as if you hate it. You like it all right.
Damn it. The tap's not working!
No, I haven't connected it yet.
Filthy stinking work.
First chance I get, I'm going to get out of this business.
We're stuck here for a while, I'm afraid.
Yeah?
Now get off. I want to sleep.
Sleep well.
-Good night. -Good night, sis.
Hi.
Morning.
-I could sleep for a year. -I'll sleep here.
Look!
Yeah, the stand from the racetrack.
-Stop a second. -Why?
To see if the girl's there.
Save the girl for tonight. We got to get to the job.
-Job. -Yeah.
You go and do some shopping now.
-Yeah? -Yeah.
How about coming with us, sweetie pie?
-Yeah, take a ride with us. -Come on!
First take a bath!
Come on!
Easy!
-Hi. You setting up here? -Yeah. You mind?
You feel like a cup of coffee?
No, thanks. Some other time.
Say, where's the supermarket?
Over there.
There?
-Okay. Be seeing you. -Yeah.
-I'll be dropping by for some of your goodies. -Sure thing.
Hello.
We've met, haven't we?
Not that I know.
I remember seeing you at the bike races.
Yeah? I don't remember.
When that guy won, the one with the red hair.
20.03 guilders.
Have you got three cents?
Yeah, here.
Where does that redhead live?
-I don't know. Don't know who you mean. -But you were with him.
Here you are. No charge. Next, please!
-Jaap? -Yeah?
-Here. -Thanks, sis.
Eef!
Where are you?
-Eef, you old dipstick. -Down here.
We've got a surprise for you.
We've discovered something.
Yeah? So did I. The French fry broad's in town.
Yeah. Over by the bridge.
-Have you talked to her yet? -Sure. We had coffee.
What did she say?
That I was.... That I was a real stud.
-I'll bet. -She likes dark types.
Yeah? When she sees what I've got, she'll never look at any other guy again.
You dirty old man, you've already got a woman.
-So what? I'm not married to her. -You've got Maya, jerk.
-I like a little variety! -I'm laying that broad, you hear?
I get first crack at it. You boys wait your turn.
You wouldn't even know where to begin.
We can't bang the broad all together.
Well?
A threesome? How 'bout that?
I wouldn't be able to do it with you looking.
Or any other time.
Meaning what?
With that puny dinky toy of yours, it's a wonder you can piss.
Hey. Careful. That's really dangerous.
This dinky toy of mine is a lot bigger than that limp sausage of yours.
Yeah? Let's see it.
You show me first.
I have a good idea. The guy with the biggest cock screws her.
Listen to him!
-Seriously? -Yeah, of course.
That's the fairest way right?
For the broad, too.
The girl deserves a break.
Close the doors.
You'll really do it?
Yeah, of course. Get a measuring gauge.
Hey, come on. I won't do it alone.
No?
Let's make them longer.
It's too cold here. lt's not going to work.
Shall I give you a hand?
Yeah. Sounds great.
Go away, you freak.
-Fifteen! -Gimme.
Thirteen.
I never heard any complaints.
No?
He won by a nose, you might say.
Sorry.
-Ladies first. -You go ahead then.
Here's to you.
Yes. Cheers.
This goes down just like holy water.
Hi there, champ.
Blondie!
I didn't recognize you with that crazy cap.
-Another drink? -Cognac.
One day he'll be the champion, just as famous as Witkamp.
Hey, cut it out, Dad.
Yeah. And if he doesn't make it, it's not a disaster.
He can take over the business when he wants.
Yeah, in 20 years, maybe.
You've got a very nice place. It just needs a little modernizing.
Like making it a discotheque, I suppose. Forget it.
Here, to go with your trophies.
A little souvenir of the first time we met, when you helped me out.
It's that brick. Doing!
I'm very glad you like it.
Only it isn't the same one.
-The other one was yellow. -Yeah? I guess it's his brother.
Cheers.
I have to go back to work. See you around. 'Bye.
Out of the way.
Just one isn't enough.
I want at least two...
...or better yet, three croquettes.
For me, French fries, king-size, with that brown peanut junk on top.
-Okay. And you? -A croquette.
With mustard?
I like them the way they come.
-Okay, go on. You were going to move in. -Do you want me to do it?
First my French fries.
King-size.
There you are. Now do your stuff.
Well? Go on.
I realize you are terribly busy right now, but could you make another order...
-...of French fries for me? -Stop being a pest.
All right, how much?
Okay. 2.60 guilders.
Keep the change.
Thanks.
Are you doing anything tonight?
Yeah, I have work to do.
-It's my turn now. -What'll it be, sonny?
-Pack of chewing gum and a croquette. -Okay.
But later, when you're all through?
I go to sleep. Alone.
Now your king-size cock isn't much use to you, is it?
-You son of a bitch! -Easy!
Bastard!
King-size cock!
For all the good it does you.
Rien! Henkhof wants to see you. The TV announcer! He wants to see all of you.
Guys!
That television announcer is here...
...up at the track.
He wants you in the program.
We're going to be on television!
You guys, come out to the racetrack!
-Where are you going? -To the racetrack!
That's it for today.
I'm going to have a look.
There is only one more Grand Prix to ride, and he doesn't even have to win.
If he comes in second or third, it would be enough.
But one thing is very clear...
...Gerrit Witkamp will be the new world champion.
And when that happens, I want to hype it up real big...
...make it a big TV event.
And that's where you come in.
I need all of you with your bikes, and of course the beautiful girls, too.
They always look good on the tube, especially when they're as sexy as you.
Keep it clean, will you?
-Are you committed? -To him.
Yeah, she sure is!
As I thought. Look, I'm counting on you.
A spot on Studio Sport, four million viewers!
Four million viewers!
We're going to be on television!
Okay, count on me.
We'll discuss all the details later.
How much are you paying them, Mr. Henkhof?
-Nothing. It's free publicity-- -Wait a minute. You said nothing, yeah?
That's right, nothing.
It's a great chance. We don't pay for that.
Only the sunshine's free.
-Are you a member of this club? -She's not a member.
They're going to be running up lots of expenses. Logical, right?
Yeah.
Okay, I'll pay for the gas.
And the rest, too. You want a good program.
Without us, it's nothing. No money, no motor club. Right, guys?
What were you thinking of?
5,000 guilders.
That's too much. I'll give you half. Okay?
Okay, 2,500 guilders. We'll do it for that, won't we?
Do we get it now?
1,500 guilders now...
...the rest after the broadcast.
Here. There you are.
1,500 guilders!
-Good luck. -Thanks a million, Fientje.
Fientje!
You guys! Let's go to the track!
Hello!
What do you want?
Business.
What kind of business?
You can make some money.
-I've got something for you. -What's that?
You tip off the Japanese bike people, don't you?
No, I work for the network.
-Everyone knows you work on the side. -Really?
You can make the Japanese sponsor Rien.
-Why should l? -He'll be a champion, just like Gerrit.
Champion jerk-off.
Very funny. Yesterday he won again.
You were there yourself.
And what if I can get him a Japanese contract, what then?
You get 10 percent of all the action.
And what's my guarantee?
Are you his girl?
No. But I will be.
Well....
What do you think?
I think we should discuss the finer points inside the car.
Okay.
Maya?
Yes?
-Come here! -What is it?
Come take a look!
Well? Beautiful?
I'm riding for Honda now.
I'm going to be sponsored by the Japanese.
Terrific. Will you be careful?
-The worst that can happen is I'll break a leg. -That's bad enough.
Hey, now, don't nag me. Come on, let's celebrate.
-Let me just get my coat. -Come on.
Hello.
She coming?
Naturally.
Then I won't!
-But why not? -Just because.
-But why not? -Just because!
Damn it! You're coming, and she is, too!
That's what you think. Just forget it. lt's her or me!
I can't drop her. She got me the contract with the Japanese!
Naturally! To take you from me.
Damn it!
She's helping me to get ahead, all you can ever say is:
''I hope you don't break a leg.''
Yes! 'Cause I really care for you, and she doesn't.
That bitch thinks of the money, like a cash register!
Go drop dead.
You can go back to that greedy cunt!
My punch, you bastard, my punch!
It's the loveliest thing I've ever seen.
Keep it on and let's go. Come on.
It's too expensive.
We can afford it.
-What are we doing now? -Chinese restaurant.
What I meant was...
...where do we go from here?
We'll follow up with a movie.
Bastard!
-You're a real little-- -It serves you right!
That was a nice job you did with those Japanese sponsors.
Yeah, a real business girl.
If you're so good in business...
...how come you're still working with your dumb brother in that French fry stand?
Never had any luck.
You have now.
What Gerrit can do, I can do.
And what his woman does, I can do, and better.
I think we make a good pair.
So do I.
With a team backing you, you can travel all over the world.
Can I come along?
To Japan?
It's beautiful there.
But he says you went to bed with that guy from the television to give me that contract.
Is that right?
My father used to say:
''Life is like a croquette. Once you know what's in it, you don't want to eat it anymore.''
Nice guy, my father.
Okay.
I like croquettes.
And I keep eating them.